Once Over Lightly

THAT PROVES YOU SHOULD watch your words, as was true in this tale of a ne'er-do-well son who had failed all through school and then in job after job because of a drinking problem. Eventually, he ended up on skid row, broke and in despair. His only hope was his long-suffering parents, so he wrote them a pathetic letter acknowledging his faults and failures, but ending, "If you will send me $50, I'll straighten up, find a job, and promise never to take another drink as long as I live."