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On the way home from an AA meeting on self-respect, I figured out how I came to reach that point in my sobriety. Admitting that I was an alcoholic wasn't the hardest thing I had to do. It took some time, with the help of my higher power, before I could accept it. Accepting that I was an alcoholic was the hardest, because I had to admit that I was a failure and that I was defeated. It was a long, hard struggle for me.