January 1983
Once Over Lightly
Sense and nonsense on the road to recovery
AN ANONYMOUS SUBSCRIBER wrote that you're really drunk if you (a) fall down and miss the ground; (b) don't miss it, but hang on to the grass to keep from falling off; (c) sit on the side of the bed, half dressed, and don't know whether you're going to bed or getting up; (d) have to take a Breathalyzer test, and the machine registers .3% before you even blow into it.
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