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When I first confronted my wife with the facts of my alcoholism, my new membership in AA, and the process of recovery, I told her, "This comes first; I can't live without it, and everything else must take second place." That may have true, but I later came to understand that my bluntness had given her unnecessary pain. Simply being sober was not enough to help us through that confrontation or anything since. I thank God that this program led me to sobriety first, and then to much more.