Once Over Lightly

SPEAKING OF WRONG THINGS: C. J. of Wisconsin submitted a story about the wet period of his life while living in New York City. One night, well loaded, he went to see a play. At the intermission he ducked out a side door, found a bar, and poured down some more booze. Returning to the theater, he found a woman in his seat. He didn't want to cause a disturbance so he sought out an usher and explained the situation. After a brief conversation the usher said, "Your trouble, sir, is that you're in the wrong theater."