Ham on Wry

AN ANONYMOUS READER tells of two drinking buddies recalling the tragic death of an old pal. "Too bad Joe got careless," said one. "Yeah, spilling all that rum on his whiskers," said the other. "He'd have been okay," said the first, "if he hadn't struck a match to light his cigar." "He could've made it," concluded the second, "but he just fiddled with his whiskers while rum burned."