Mr. Grouch

The celebration of my second AA birthday didn't seem quite as joyous as I had anticipated it would be. In a dark corner of my mind something kept nagging at me that it could have been better. True, I had gone through that year without drinking. I had attended a lot of meetings. My circle of friends had grown considerably. The pleasures of watching other alcoholics grow into sober human beings were real. I had made a few talks and I had been trying to work with others. But looking back I know I was running scared. Serenity just wasn't there. Sometimes it was hard to maintain a pleasant attitude. Yet I was proud of the fact that one of my pigeons had told me I made him feel comfortable because I was always the same. Even he had quit calling as often and I found myself worrying about him.