Saving Grace

After seven years of sobriety, at each AA birthday, I sit down and write out my blessings. Herewith is this year's significant list: I've missed out on 2,555 hangovers; I've saved $8,939 (the cost of 1,277 fifths of "hard stuff); $2,912 for 728 bottles of wine and about $200 for ten cases of beer. I've also saved $360 for 84 quarts of mouthwash--a quick pick-me-up when I'd run out of everything else. And these are only my in-home costs, excluding all outside revelries and bar tabs. So, the grand total comes to something like $12,411--the price of a brand new car or a neat real estate investment or a dandy vacation.