The Acid Test of Forgiveness

It was soon after I came into the program when the issue of forgiveness became important for my recovery. After listening to my Fifth Step, my sponsor urged me to find ways to resolve my resentful feelings toward my father for all that he had done to me--and not done for me. He had been an alcoholic, a daily drinker whose anger and dark moods had severely damaged the family. I was emotionally neglected by him and subjected from time to time to both verbal and physical abuse. Although, as I got older, some peace was made between us, there was very little bonding between us, very little real affection, very little understanding of one another as persons. When he died--nearly twenty-five years ago, well before alcoholism took hold of me--I cried a little. But they were not tears of sorrow for the father I had lost. Rather, they were tears of regret for the father I never had.