An Agnostic's Spiritual Awakening

I was more defiant than ever when I re-entered AA in August 1987, having come in and gone back out twice before. I was convinced that the Twelve Steps--excepting the first one--weren't for me. I was too intellectual, too steadfast in my agnosticism, for any spiritual experiences. I still equated "spiritual awakening" with "getting religion," and I firmly believed I would prefer dying in the gutter to getting religion.