Ham on Wry

EARLY EVERY MORNING, young Matt's chore was to milk the family cow and carry a fresh pail-full to his ailing Aunt Mary. One day, the mischievous farmboy spiked the bucket with a shot of whiskey. His aunt enjoyed the flavor so much he continued the practice, until one morning a few weeks later, when Matt had overslept a bit, he found Aunt Mary up and waiting for him at her door. She grabbed a cupful of the "milk," knocked it way back and returned to bed with these words of wisdom to her nephew: "Don't ever sell that cow."