Ham on Wry

EMOTIONAL STEW: Mix 1 cup self-pity, 1/2 cup anger, 2 tsps. revenge, 1/4 lb. frustration, a dash fear, 8 oz. selfishness, 1 bad attitude. Let simmer for a day, or several years. Stir regularly. Bring to a fast boil and serve liberally to all around. Once they're fed up, and leave you alone, lonely, and isolated, make a new batch, adding 1/5 gin, scotch, vodka or other spirit of choice.