Conscious Contact

When I first joined AA I was an atheist and unable to pray. After attending ninety meetings in ninety days, I knelt by my bed one morning and in tearful frustration pounded with my fists and cried, "If you are up there, if there is a God, help me!" In the days to follow I tried to meditate and pray but I really didn't know how. Like many newcomers, the idea of meditation or prayer seemed too esoteric for me, something only priests or pastors could do. Gradually I was able to learn, through reading, and through much practice, to "let go and let God." But it took some doing!