Searching for Balance

I am a recovered alcoholic with five-plus years of better living in this program. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of the program and in order for me to live without the degradation, fear, pain, broken relationships, and suicidal ideation I have to live by the program that you people and the Big Book give me. I am licensed to practice my profession in this state, nationally certified, and was deputy director of a mental health center when I was lying on my front step at 2:00 AM, desperately sick and trying to die. It was then that I did what was absolutely the most unlikely thing in the world, something that seemed more painful than dying: I told myself that I would go to AA and just listen. I didn't know then that I had taken the First Step.