Ham on Wry

"DIE-HARD DRINKERS can now spend eternity in their favorite bar," reports Y-M. H. of Ontario. It seems that a local tavern owner is giving his customers a chance to spend endless evenings with their buddies--by having their ashes kept in his establishment when they die. For only $2,500, the owner promises to bury you under your favorite stool, beside the cash register, up on the shelf with the bottles, or wherever your heart desires. Says the publican of this undertaking, "It's better than being stuck in some chilly cemetery where nobody visits you."