Ham on Wry

"THE BARTENDER was closing up," writes C. H., of Lake Worth, Florida, "when his last remaining patron, a large man, passed out and slumped off his barstool onto the floor. He tried to get the man onto his feet, but could not. He found identification in the man's wallet and decided to take him home. With strenuous effort, he got the man into his car. With even more difficulty, he dragged the out-cold souse to the door of his house. The lady who answered the bell thanked him graciously for bringing the man home, then asked. 'But where is his wheelchair?' "