Road Map to Self-esteem

I never knew self-love or understood self-esteem until I came into AA. As a drunk I lived my life in a manner that smothered any possibility of self-love. I was totally absorbed in planning my next drink. I manipulated, begged, cheated, stole, and lied to get what I thought I needed to survive. At the end, I couldn't even hold my head up as I walked down the street. I lived in shame and self-hatred. Drinking helped me forget my shame; then I would sober up and feel worse than ever.