Ham on Wry

THE TOWN SOUSE went to see the doctor. "I hurt all over my entire body," he complained. He laid his finger on his left shoulder. "When I touch myself here," he whined, "it hurts." Then he put his finger near his heart. "When I touch here, it hurts." Then he put his finger on his thigh. "When I touch here, it hurts." And so on. "No matter where I touch myself, Doc, it hurts something terrible! Please! What's wrong with me?"