Separate from the Tree

Prior to coming into AA, I loudly proclaimed, "I don't need anyone," while at the same time I was in a lot of pain because of my detachment from people. I detested the thought that I might need people, and yet I'd traded my honesty for the approval of others. I became a firefighter and thought that since I was taking a physical risk this justified the fact that I'd never taken an emotional risk in my life.