Searching for Balance

I am an alcoholic, thirty years old, and in recovery since July 1992. I am also Mommy to Josh, eight, Katy, five, and Alysa, four months. While Josh and Alysa are normal, healthy children, Katy has epilepsy and is retarded and hyperactive. Not only can I not afford babysitters, it's next to impossible to find someone to care for a disabled child.