Backing Out of AA

Like many of us, the first time in AA didn't work for me because I didn't work for it. I did everything I was supposed to do--suit up, show up, empty ashtrays, share--but don't talk to me about a Fourth Step, thanks anyway. In my sixth month of sobriety I suggested to my sponsor that because I didn't have a horror story maybe I wasn't a real alcoholic. In her infinite wisdom, she gave me permission to back out of AA by saying, "Well, maybe you're not." Five months later, after attending fewer and fewer meetings, I was just waiting for a reason to take the first drink. Well, it happened, and it was a biggie.