A Crack in the Wall of Disbelief

I sampled AA ten years ago but never really got past the First Step. Steps Two and Three smacked of religion and turned me off; after all, I was in charge of my life. I made some futile attempts at finding a power for living sober but never learned anything about spirituality or had much willingness to change my attitudes. About six years ago I hit another bottom and agreed to return to AA meetings because I refused to listen to the Employee Assistance Program counselor when he suggested a treatment center he could get me into right away. I was afraid of that kind of commitment and thought that if AA didn't work again I always had treatment, like an ace in the hole. In fact, I didn't want to get sober for the rest of my life, only get some people off my back. Just because I couldn't get along with my bosses, coworkers, the union, or anybody else didn't mean I had a problem--I just needed some time to regroup.