Ham on Wry

LATE ONE FRIDAY NIGHT the highway patrol spotted a car being driven very erratically and way over the speed limit. They pulled it over and asked the driver if he had been drinking that evening. "Oh, sure," the man cooperated, "It's Friday night, right? So after work I go out with the guys and gals from the office, and first I stop by this pub we like and I put away four or five frosties, then we go to Frank's Lounge for Happy Hour, and I have six or seven margaritas there, then I drive my buddy Mike home and he asks me in for a nightcap and I don't want to be impolite so I go in for a shot or two with him. . .and of course, I always have my own fifth of Jack here in the glove compartment to get me home--see? It's still got a few fingers left in it."