Heads up

My name is Alison and I'm an alcoholic. When I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, I was a twenty-one-year-old little girl, full of fear and loneliness. As far back as I can remember, I was shy and couldn't talk to anyone. I never thought I was good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. I never held my head up when I walked or even when I talked with anyone. All this was before I picked up my first drink. That was another thing--I was never going to drink. I was not going to be like my mother. I hated her for her drinking and blamed her for everything I went through in life. I never wanted anyone to hate me like I hated her. When I was five years old, my mom got sober in AA, and then besides hating her, I hated AA for taking my mother away from me. My whole life was definitely about blame.