Since Forever

My name is Don and the most important thing to me today is not drinking. I have been an alcoholic since forever. I actually started drinking at the age of thirteen, after a tragic accident caused by me. I shot and killed my best friend--it was kids playing with guns. This tragic incident destroyed two families and an entire neighborhood, but most of all it destroyed me, emotionally and mentally. I found relief in alcohol. I found that I could hide in the fog that alcohol created in my mixed-up and confused mind. That was in February 1972. By the time I graduated from high school in 1976, alcohol had a firm grip on me (only I didn't know it) and I was unable to graduate with my class. I had been thrown out of so many classes that I was lacking credits to graduate. I attended summer school at the end of my first senior year, and finally graduated in 1977. During that time, and for years to follow, alcohol was the tool I used to cope with everything. If my day went well I drank to celebrate; if it went badly I drank to ease my anger. If a relationship was working great, I drank to reward myself; when it went sour, I drank to escape. This behavior repeated itself over and over, with me always expecting different results.