Progress, Not Perfection

B]ill W. often talked about the spiritual awakening he had at Towns Hospital. The room was filled with light. He felt as though he was standing on a mountaintop where a great breeze blew--not a physical breeze but a spiritual one. Describing another kind of spiritual experience, he said that if we practice the principles of AA in all our affairs, we will be catapulted into a "fourth dimension." I do not disparage anyone who has had the kinds of spiritual experience Bill describes. But I think I did all the catapulting I needed to during my years of alcohol and drugs. And in sobriety, when I feel catapulted into another dimension, it usually turns out to be just another episode of self-will or excessive religious emotionalism. I think, "Now, at last, I have been to the mountain-top," and I'm convinced that I will never have to go through that experience again. But that is wishful thinking. In my experience there is nothing irrevocable about a spiritual experience. It is usually just a turn in the road, which leaves me feeling that something has been resolved--but only for the time being.