Being There

I have heard people in Alcoholics Anonymous say, "I don't know if I was born an alcoholic, but I know that when I started drinking, an alcoholic was born in me." That's how it was with me. I remember being given a glass of wine when I was six or seven years old. It made me smile so much that my cheeks hurt. I spent the next quarter of a century trying to feel that good again. My alcoholism became my primary occupation, and I used my ability to play guitar and memorize folk and country songs to stay intoxicated for days and weeks at a time. Let me sum up the bottom I reached as briefly as possible: I puked on people, places, and things from border to border and coast to coast. I once passed out in my own vomit on the steps of the post office.