The Poker Game

When I got sober, back in March 1969, I knew I didn't want to drink anymore. I knew I would die if I did. But upon entering the rooms of AA I discovered to my horror that you people talked a lot about, and gave a lot of thanks to, God. Trouble was, in those days, God (as I understood him) was the enemy. I blamed everything that happened to me on God. I was brought up in a Jewish household and was forced to attend Hebrew school (the Jewish equivalent of Our Sister of Perpetual Agony) after regular school, every day. After the information had been filtered through my head, the God I understood was full of vengeance and wrath. I wanted no part of him, so I dropped out of my religion. I started drinking when I was almost fourteen years old, and from then till the end of my first year in AA, I blamed God for everything--jails, divorces, skid row, loss of jobs--everything.