My Drug Of Choice

After the bottle and pot, men were my drug of choice. Or maybe it was men first, then the bottle. In my first two rehabs, the first thing that happened to me was that I was overwhelmed by my attraction to certain men. I wanted to have sex so badly that I would sneak into a car in the parking lot, and any place else I could find. But I could not focus on my sobriety and try to "control" someone else at the same time. I was either the "hostage" or the "hostage keeper."