Outrageous By Choice

I drank to fit in with my friends and colleagues at work. I drank to acquire many of the qualities I admired in others. Specifically, I wanted to be funny, outgoing, and comfortable in the spotlight. For the first few years of my alcoholic drinking, the bottle helped me to achieve some of those goals. Then, vodka and scotch subtly began to take away the things I so desperately yearned for, and eventually, I became the exact opposite of the person I longed to be. I became a very quiet drunk, because I was afraid to open my mouth for fear that everyone would know I was drunk, sure that the world would know it was the alcohol talking.