Someday I'll Be Cured

When I look at what my life is like today compared to the way it was going seven years ago, I'm amazed. Seven years ago, I couldn't stop drinking although I desperately wanted to. All but one of my friends had had enough of my erratic, violent, and rude behavior while drinking. I ate barely enough to keep me going; eating made getting drunk a slower process, and I needed to get drunk as fast as possible. I also wanted to die, but I couldn't think of a foolproof way to do it. I couldn't bear the thought of the shame I would feel if I tried to commit suicide again and failed. I didn't really want to die, but I didn't know that till I'd been sober quite some time. What I wanted was to have my life changed, but I didn't believe that anything but death could change it.