Double Trouble

When I was a child, I was really two people: Tom was the boy society accepted, and Tammy was the girl that society, especially the religious ones, condemned. You see, I am a transsexual, born with the body of one sex and the mind of the other. Rather than facing this dilemma, I conformed. Outside, I played and did "boy things," and at home, in my own space, I played with my Barbie and wore girl's clothes. I lived in constant fear of being found out. Most girls like me take the role of the opposite to the extreme, so it is not surprising that I joined a street gang and did many bad things to prove myself. It was hard to play this role, until I discovered alcohol after an eighth-grade graduation party. With alcohol, it was easy. Drinking became the solution for me from that first experience.