The Courage of Friends

I have been sober for twenty-three years. It is often voiced in AA meetings that God will find you a parking spot, "right in front of the meeting" and that nothing bad can happen to you once you're sober. When I came into AA, I believed this too. Now, I do not think God is at all interested in my daily existence. I believe there is some Higher Power, because I cannot otherwise explain why I haven't had a drink. But God is not some loving power or guiding force in my life. God makes decisions and I live with them. Last July I was diagnosed with colon/rectal cancer. I had been suffering with a chronic illness for some time before this and He wasn't very helpful. I prayed, but God did not cure me of this malady, nor did he send doctors to help me, although God knows I saw enough of them. Nor did he supply me with the kind of courage I needed to face my dilemma. My friends are a different story.