Not Enough Days

Like many people, i came through the doors of AA desperate and full of fear. Chaos ruled my life. Yet, I did not want to give up drinking because alcohol was all that kept me numb to my inner pain and self-hatred. Although I was afraid of alcohol, I was more afraid of being without it. It was a mystery how the people gathered around the tables of AA could be sober for four hours, let alone for twenty-four. Then there were the old-timers with years of sobriety who, I believed, had to live in a world different from the one I inhabited. It seemed to me that only someone from another planet could not drink for so many years and enjoy it.