A SOBER Car Thief

I'll never forget what it was like--getting pulled over in a stolen car by the Philadelphia Police Department. I had stolen the car to get to a bar in New Jersey just a little faster. The officer asked me for my driver's license, insurance, and registration cards. In a drunken fog, I rifled through the glove box of the car. I found the poor fellow's identification and gleefully asked the officer, "Do they have to be mine?" Needless to say, he didn't see the humor and arrested me for grand theft auto.