I'M NOT BROKEN

I am an intellect. I was told early on that this was a simple program and not to complicate it. A couple of years into the program I found myself in a place of turmoil. I was reworking my Steps with a new sponsor and searching daily for aspects of my personality that I wanted to continue to improve. Having worked through the Steps before, I had worked on many of my primary traits already. I was no longer doing a lot of the things that used to leave me ashamed and regretful at the end of the day. I was sleeping contentedly most nights, and I was really starting to enjoy the woman I was seeing in the mirror. There were still things, though, that would plague my daily inventory and were constantly turning around in my mind. The solution suddenly came to me one night while listening to a Big Book study on CD. The speaker was talking about Bill W.'s early experiences prior to the creation of AA. He referred to how Bill had tried self-will, had tried the church, and had even tried working with a psychologist, hoping it would improve his emotional problems enough for him to remain sober. The speaker said, "Thank God that psychology didn't work for Bill and he discovered that the solution lies in a Higher Power. Otherwise, we'd all be sitting around all day psychoanalyzing ourselves instead of turning our problems over to a Higher Power for a solution."