As long as I stay willing

STEP Six is about having the willingness to hand over my defects to God. After working Step Five with my sponsor, I asked myself if I was really ready for things to change. I had spent my entire life in a world of selfishness, dishonesty and fear. I had no idea how often I had been self-seeking and dishonest. I played the victim, blaming my environment, my childhood and other people--anything except the real problem, my self-centeredness. This insanity landed me in the hospital after trying to end my life. It was eye-opening to find the root of my troubles. I was miserable but I found comfort in the pain and it was all I could relate to. For me, drinking was a great validation for my self-hatred. It was the only answer I had.