The monkey in my head
At the tender age of 19, my drunkenness brought me before the same judge three times in a row. My poor father, a well respected citizen, was sobbing in the courtroom for fear of what they might do to his idiot son. The judge growled: "You have disgraced your father! You have disgraced your mother! Ninety days!" Luckily for me, the sheriff knew my dad and he convinced the judge to put me on probation.