It Was All About Me

From as far back as I can remember my life had been all about me! As a child, I was constantly worrying about what you thought of me, how I looked, how I carried myself. I feared that you could sense my fear of life. Fear permeated my life for many, many years to come, long into my sobriety. It was the foundation of my alcoholism. Without alcohol, I often wonder how I would have survived those times. Alcohol gave me the courage, false or not, to make my way through life. I have heard it said that AA guides us back into the mainstream but I was never in the mainstream to begin with. I never lived life until I reached AA, I only watched life go by.