After the Fire

I was feeling fragile and vulnerable. It was May 7, 2009 and I had 94 days of sobriety. I was about to meet with my sponsor, Diane, to do a partial Fifth Step on the issue I had suffered from and drank over for 40 years. I had been working on it for a week and it was a living hell. For the first time ever, I was trying to open up, delve into, and thoroughly examine this issue. I was anything but fearless! I was terrified, but once I unearthed it, there was no going back. I couldn't eat and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't live this way for any length of time, and yet I couldn't get past it to finish writing the rest of my Fourth Step. Diane suggested doing a partial Fifth Step on the issue now, and doing the rest later.