Slip and Slide

When I think of a “slip” it tends to bring to mind someone stepping on a banana peel or losing his grip while scaling a mountain. My relapses were deliberate slides and not slips. I was grudgingly staying sober to try to hang onto my job and eagerly waiting for opportunities to drink without messing that up. I recall hearing that the “first drink does the damage,” so I felt a bit relieved after having the first one, although it was disappointing, because I’d done the damage and might as well continue. This went on for about four months until I had my last drink in May 1974. Even then, I had no intention of staying sober on a lasting basis and was looking for a good excuse I could sell myself.