Holiday Pity Party

Just before the holiday season, I had surgery and was on bed rest after unexpected complications. I was in a lot of physical pain and could not move around comfortably. I found myself stuck with my own thoughts. I tallied up my long list of complications and was lamenting the idea that a simple surgery had gone wrong. I was suffering, where other people who had the same surgery never had a problem. I thought I would call my sponsor, knowing that she’d listen to me bitch and moan and then set me straight. But after 23 years sober, I knew that was just a ploy for attention. I’d really just be trying to drag her into my pity party. I knew my sponsor was too savvy for that. She also didn’t deserve to have to deal with my whininess. So, as I lay in my sick bed, I was becoming filled with self-pity. I couldn’t go out and do my holiday shopping. Besides, I had no money. I just had anger and grand justifications for my state of mind.