Sublime Freedom

As I walked into the room, my heart was in a frenzy, as if a ferret had been let loose in my chest. This wasn’t where I was supposed to end up. These people were wrong and probably insane. This AA group had no idea who I was. Although I felt a black, gaping maw in the pit of my stomach, I knew this was not going to fix it. I could handle this alcoholism on my own, I didn’t need these people, and I had no intentions of letting them even know my name. I just needed some rest to get the fog in my mind to clear, then maybe I would quit getting into fights and going to jail. Then maybe I would quit waking up not knowing where I was or what vexatious things I had done the night before. Rest, that’s all I needed, maybe a vacation, but I sure didn’t need these people. I knew this. My parents had told me all twelve step programs were a joke anyway.