Keeping Spiritually Fit

After more than a dozen years of sobriety, I have finally come to terms with my own powerlessness over alcohol. For years, I could not accept the implications of the word "powerless." Of course I had power over alcohol, I thought—after all, who had poured it down my throat? I had—no one else. Thus, I practiced Step One from page 30 of the Big Book: "we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery." I had no problem with the word "alcoholic," or with fully conceding that I was one. Several doctors had diagnosed me as an alcoholic, and I had proven it to myself through repeated arrests, treatment centers, and emergency room visits due to alcohol. But powerless over alcohol? Not me!