Aunt Vida

Long before I came into the rooms of AA—in fact, long before I started drinking alcoholically—I was in another Twelve Step fellowship. I hoped I might skip over the “God” Steps, but my sponsor wouldn’t let me. As we broached the Second and Third Steps, she suggested I start praying. I didn’t see the point since I didn’t believe that God or a Higher Power or a creative intelligence had any interest in me. The feeling was mutual. God never answered my prayers, he had abandoned me, taken away people I cared about and left behind a few who I wished he hadn’t. I was angry with God. So why should I believe? Now I realize that you can’t be angry at something you don’t believe exists. Nevertheless, it was clear that my sponsor wasn’t going to let me skip the whole “God thing.”