This Is The Beginning Of The Rest of My Life…Right?

I am deeply embarrassed yet oddly grateful for my most recent binge-drinking episode. There was no "trigger" or anything like that. I confess I was feeling sad and lonely. Wine turned to vodka, then blackout and chaos ensued. I couldn't sleep or eat, and felt nauseous for a few days. Over the last year, my drinking sessions had devolved into blackouts, suicidal or threatening talk, just crazy stuff. I was getting worse and worse. There's no way I could just have one drink. I was sick of it all and so was my endlessly patient and loving husband. I didn't want to lose the beautiful life we have together. After my recent binge, I knew I was at risk of losing not only our marriage, but everything else I valued in my life.