Finally Home
April 2020 | Home Group

Finally Home

A transgender member shares about the group she found that loves her no matter what

I love my home group and invite everyone to come visit. I’d like to think it’s the best group in all AA, yet it’s just a group like any other. I just happen to feel at home here. It meets every Tuesday and Thursday at a YMCA. I’ve come to count on it being here. The first thing I noticed about my group was how bright and cheery it is and that there’s a lot of sobriety in the room.

It took me time to get to know people. I learned slowly that there were a lot of LGBTQ+ people there who had known each other for years. Some had been sober for 50 years.

I’m a transgender member, and the group embraced me very early on in my recovery. I was so shaky then. I was constantly relapsing, and the group just loved me. They listened to me and made me a part of the group. They kept electing me to service commitments, and no one batted an eye each time I picked up a drink and could no longer do the job. I have since been able to make amends to the group, living and direct, by staying sober and showing up for each commitment they put me up for now.

My entire first year, I sat next to an old gentle giant. I hid in his looming shadow. Such a sweet gentle man he was. After he passed away, I found out that he was a cofounder of our home group, which began a long time ago. I got to attend his memorial. It had such an impact on me to walk in and see my entire home group all dressed up, paying their respects.

Later, I remember getting to sign our group’s lease when I was overall chair, still not entirely believing I would be able to stay sober for another entire year.

I’ll never forget my first qualification in front of the group. I got weepy and was so moved. These members had watched each other get married, get jobs, lose jobs and loved ones. And they just kept coming and loving one another. All I’ve ever wanted is to love and be loved in return and to grow old with somebody. Here before my eyes, I could see my home group doing just that with one another.

When I mentioned that they were growing old together, the entire room gasped. Did I really just call them old? How funny. I guess I did! It was such a special moment.

Oh well…I guess I’ll keep coming back. They have what I want.

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