From Outside to Inside

A fellowship: what a comforting idea! I would no longer be alone, but with others that shared my predicament. This was my hope when I joined AA. As a newcomer and a woman I was instantly welcomed at the first meeting. No sooner did it end than the chairman himself came over to greet me. I was given a free Big Book, and several women left me their phone numbers. At the same time, I was warned by one of the women to stay away from a certain man, which I did not understand at the time. However, as I attended the same meeting repeatedly, I noticed that some members came in together, others with partners and spouses, and some left together for coffee after the meeting. No one ever invited me. I began to feel not only envious, but slightly peeved, especially when a man remarked to me one night, “You need to make friends here. It must be hard to come in alone every night.”