A prayer for mom
Of all the tools AA has taught me to use when life gets difficult, prayer is one of the most important—especially praying for others. Over time, my prayers for others have changed, because my life and the people in my life are constantly changing. Right now my mom is dying, and it has brought up some old resentment I thought I had dealt with.
My mom and I haven’t had much of a relationship over the past 20 years. When I saw her lying in the hospital bed, I knew this was not the time to think about life not going my way or the times she acted out in the past. It was time for what the old-timers call the “resentment prayer.”
They told me to pray every day for two weeks that the person I resented get everything he or she wanted. I have said this prayer more times than I care to admit. But it works. It always helps me lose or lessen my resentment toward those with whom I have problems. So to my knees I went.
But this time, praying for my mother was different. Money, jobs, house and car had little value. She was dying and would never use those things or even care if she had them. So I thought about what I would want if I were in her place. This is when AA really stepped in.
My prayer went something like this: “God please let my mom die with dignity and respect. May she have no regrets, and may she be able to make the amends she needs to make. Please let her not be afraid of the afterlife but be grateful for the life she has lived. Please take her into your arms so that she may know peace and your love. Amen.”
This prayer has made me think about how important AA is in my life. It was AA who showed me how to pray.