At Wit’s End

1) Your sponsor isn’t all that interested in the reasons you drank.

2) Your therapist thinks your root problem is your lack of self-esteem, negative self-image and your poor self-concept. Your sponsor thinks your problem is a three-letter word with no hyphens: You.

3) Your therapist wants you to pamper your inner child. Your sponsor thinks it ought to be spanked.

4) Your sponsor thinks your inventory should be about you, not your parents.

5) Speaking of your parents, your sponsor tells you not to confront them, but to make amends to them.

6) The only time your sponsor uses the word “closure” is before the word “mouth.”

7) Your therapist wants you to love yourself first; your sponsor wants you to love others first.

8) Now that you haven’t had a drink in six months, your therapist thinks you should make a list of your goals and objectives for the next five years, starting with finishing up that college degree. Your sponsor thinks you should start today by cleaning the coffeepots and helping him carry a box of literature to the jail. Oh yeah…and making your bed.